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Zwischen Meisterin und Schülern
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Schnuppern Sie hinein in die freimütigen Gespräche zwischen der Höchsten Meisterin Ching Hai und ihren Schülern, über Themen, die von Spiritualität bis hin zum täglichen Leben reichen, und erhalten Sie auch seltene Einblicke in andere Reiche jenseits der Erde. Wir müssen unsere Herzen jedem edlen Einfluss, jeder edler Gesellschaft öffnen; wir müssen diese Chance nutzen. Wenn wir dann der Ansicht sind, dass es das höchste Ziel der Menschheit ist, das Niveau unserer Reinheit und unserer Weisheit anzuheben, dann müssen wir uns darum bemühen.~ Die Höchste Meisterin Ching Hai (Veganerin) Weltberühmte Wohltäterin, Künstlerin und spirituelle Meisterin

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Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 4 von 8

29:27

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 4 von 8

The teacher asked a student, “Why don’t you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.” The student said, “What did I have?” The teacher said, “Cornflakes.” So, the student said, “You are wrong. That was yesterday.”A little boy was praying in the church. “Oh, dear God, I have a small wish. Please move the capital to New York.” A priest nearby heard him and asked him, “Why
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-11   1838 Views
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2026-04-11
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 3 von 8

33:11

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 3 von 8

Daddy number one says, “I always stress to my kids that there must be three -sions for success: Mission, passion and vision.” OK. So, dad number two: “And the outcome?” Dad number one says again, “Alas, there is only one television in their hearts.” Kids! Only one “-sion” in their hearts, that’s television. I hope it is the Supreme Master Television.This one is really bad, even though it’s a priva
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-10   1932 Views
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2026-04-10
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 2 von 8

32:15

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 2 von 8

Little Johnny said, “Daddy, I want to ask you a question.” After a first day in Sunday school. So Daddy said, “OK.” And little Johnny said, “Oh, the teacher was reading the Bible to us, all about the children of Israel building this temple and the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea. The children of Israel do this, do that. What have all the adults been doing?” It’s true, huh? They do nothing,
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-09   2271 Views
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2026-04-09
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 1 von 8

38:41

Lachen und Erleuchtung, Teil 1 von 8

(Going home.) What time? (Yes, I’m going home in two hours.) (I’m going home alone tomorrow.) Are you both going home? (No.) (Just him alone.) (My mom and I.) Just pointing at this and that. Aren’t you two going home to the same house? (No.) Why do you two look so alike, like brothers? (It was in a past life.) (In a past life.) In a past life, in a past life. Hey! You’re all going home, leaving me
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-04-08   2654 Views
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2026-04-08
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 7 von 8

33:33

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 7 von 8

There was this guy who won twenty million in the lottery, but he had a heart disease. So his family didn’t know how to tell him, they were afraid that if they told him suddenly, he might die from the shock. Then they went to ask a psychiatrist for help. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, I know. I have a heart disease too, so I know the psychology of people with a heart disease. Let me tell him. I’ll
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-02-24   2810 Views
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2026-02-24
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 6 von 8

36:33

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 6 von 8

There was a guy who was invited over to celebrate Tết (Lunar New Year); Celebrating Tết involves sticky rice cakes, ginger candies, pickled leeks, non-alcoholic beer, and all that. Yes, please. But the hostess didn’t practice the Quan Yin Method, so she was kind of stingy. She was saving her money to travel. Therefore, she treated the guest, but only halfway. So the guy didn’t have enough to eat,
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-02-23   2781 Views
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2026-02-23
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 5 von 8

34:08

Tugend mit Weisheit, Teil 5 von 8

In the biography of Xuanzang, it mentioned the Quan Yin Method. Because the Quan Yin Method in Sanskrit is called “Shabda.” One of the sutras He brought back mentioned the “Shabda.” “Shabda” means the (inner Heavenly) Sound within us. Because I knew that word, I knew Xuanzang practiced the “Shabda,” meaning the Quan Yin Method, the (inner Heavenly) Sound current. But if we don’t know Sanskrit, the
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2026-02-22   2874 Views
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2026-02-22
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Alles ist von Gott arrangiert, Teil 2 von 7

34:21

Alles ist von Gott arrangiert, Teil 2 von 7

Yesterday, the one who told a story about tofu… Because I had just talked about tofu a moment ago... If it is so smoky, then close your eyes for a moment until the smoke is gone. If your nose is congested, then pinch your nose, too. He told the story that there was a monk... But I didn’t know if the story was true or not, because he told the story, not me. There was a monk who was in a house – no,
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-12-21   3283 Views
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2025-12-21
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 11 von 11

30:56

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 11 von 11

“A traveler.” “A traveler named John pulled into a little town for the night to find every hotel room was taken. He pleaded, ‘You have got to have a room somewhere or just a bed. I don’t care where.’ So, the manager admitted, ‘Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have c
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-23   2794 Views
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2025-09-23
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 10 von 11

35:09

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 10 von 11

“There’s a father who said to a friend, ‘You know, when I was younger, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper, but my son has his own color TV, phone, computer, and CD player.’ So, his friend said, ‘So what do you do?’ ‘Well, I send him to my room.’”“A young boy and his girl were embracing passionately in the front seat of a car. She asked him, ‘You want to go to the back seat?’
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-22   2794 Views
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2025-09-22
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 9 von 11

33:09

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 9 von 11

“A Baptist preacher, a Presbyterian minister, and a Lutheran pastor got into a discussion as to which denomination Jesus Christ would belong to.” Ah, here we come again. “Each claimed that He would belong to his own.” Of course. “So, the Baptist preacher declared, ‘He would obviously be Baptist. We are so on fire with the zeal for God, just like He was when He was on Earth. He would join us in a h
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-21   2654 Views
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2025-09-21
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 8 von 11

30:58

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 8 von 11

Yeah, fine. Up! Good boy. You OK now? You are tired? I love you. Oh, I love you. My little Liebchen (Sweetheart). Come, get up. Come here, read me a book of jokes. Do some work. Hey, Happy. OK, she wants some love.“One day, a boy was digging in his backyard, and his neighbor asked him, ‘Hey, Timmy, what are you doing that for?’ And Timmy said, ‘My goldfish(-person) died, and I’m burying him.’ The
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-20   2585 Views
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2025-09-20
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 7 von 11

33:03

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 7 von 11

“At the end of a performance, there were a couple of extras in the play, talking together backstage. ‘What’s the matter with our leading lady?’ One actress said, ‘She seems really mad about something.’ And the other said, ‘Oh, she’s upset because she only received nine bouquets of flowers over the footlight.’ ‘Nine!’ Exclaimed the first actress. ‘That’s pretty good, isn’t it?’ The other one replie
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-19   3005 Views
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2025-09-19
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 6 von 11

30:59

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 6 von 11

“One of the patients was very worried and asked the doctor, ‘Doctor, are you sure? Are you sure it’s pneumonia?’ The doctor said, ‘Yes, why?’ ‘Yeah, because I heard of cases where a doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, but he (the patient) ended up dying of something else.’ The doctor said, ‘Don’t worry. When I treat the patient for pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia.’” You got that? “For sure
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-18   3007 Views
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2025-09-18
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 5 von 11

32:58

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 5 von 11

It’s terrible. No, I won’t tell you this. There’s not much. Well, something maybe funny. “A Texas farmer was visiting an Australian farm for the first time. So he asked, ‘What’s that growing out there in that field?’ So the Aussie host said, ‘Well, them are watermelons, mate.’ The Texan scoffed at him and said, ‘In Texas, we grow potatoes bigger than that. And what’s that over there on those trees
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-17   2972 Views
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2025-09-17
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 4 von 11

31:12

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 4 von 11

I told you that already, I’m sure. I’m sure I told you this [one], but it’s funny, so I’ll tell you again, in case. And beware when you go watch movies or in some crowded place. “There was a lovely and shapely young lady trying to board a city bus. But she was filled with packages and bags and everything, and she was wearing a very tight dress. So, it was difficult for her to step on the bus witho
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-16   2790 Views
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2025-09-16
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 3 von 11

32:47

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 3 von 11

“A husband and wife were watching a movie on the TV the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was in fact cheating on her. So, the husband asked the wife if she would ever do that to him. And she said, ‘Yes, yes, of course I would, but not so much to find out who was the other woman, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.’”“Three men w
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-15   3004 Views
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2025-09-15
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 2 von 11

29:18

Die lachenden Heiligen, Teil 2 von 11

Das hier ist mein Witz, ein Witz von mir, ein Original-Witz. Er lautet ... „Ein Angestellter geht ins Büro des Chefs, um Bericht zu erstatten. Er ist Handelsvertreter. Da fragt der Chef: ‚Hey, wie läuft‘s? Wie laufen Ihre Verkäufe?‘ Der Handelsvertreter erwidert: ‚Oh, gut, gut. Fast 50 % der Leute haben unsere Sachen gekauft.‘ Darauf der Chef: ‚Ach ja? Wie viele Leute waren es denn?‘ Der Angestell
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-09-14   2882 Views
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2025-09-14
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Feier des veganen Mondfests: mit der Meisterin, Teil 2 von 7

30:56

Feier des veganen Mondfests: mit der Meisterin, Teil 2 von 7

(Die zweite Darbietung unseres heutigen Programms bestreitet unser indischer Bruder, der uns ein paar Witze erzählen wird.) (Und Dich zum Lachen bringt.) […](Geht ein Mann zum Zahnarzt ...) (... mit zwei abgebrochenen Schneidezähnen. Der Zahnarzt fragt: „Wie ist Ihnen denn das passiert?“) (Der Mann erwidert: „Meine Frau hat mir sehr hartes Brot gegeben.“) […] (Da will der Zahnarzt wissen: „
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2025-02-23   3869 Views
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2025-02-23
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze

Liebe ist stärker als Ego, Teil 6 von 8

28:21

Liebe ist stärker als Ego, Teil 6 von 8

Ein Blinder sitzt auf einer Parkbank. Ein Priester setzt sich dazu. Der Priester kaut auf einer Waffel herum. Weil der Blinde ihm leidtut, holt er noch eine Waffel heraus und gibt sie ihm. Der Blinde fährt mit den Fingern vorsichtig über die Oberfläche der Waffel, wendet sich ein paar Minuten danach dem Priester zu, klopft ihm auf die Schulter und fragt: […]
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
2024-05-26   5720 Views
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2024-05-26
Die Meisterin erzählt Witze
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