So, this story is from the Buddhist sutras. The title is “The Disaster Begins from the Mouth.” […] Long, long time ago, there was a lake. And in the lake, there was a turtle(-person), and outside the lake, there were two flamingo(-people). A turtle(-person) and two flamingo(-people). […] They were friends. That year was a very... There was a drought. […] The Sun seemed like it became hotter and hotter than usual. And all the grasses and the trees changed color, became a coffee color. Some kind of black magic. […]
So, this story is from the Buddhist sutras. The title is “The Disaster Begins from the Mouth.” Alright. Long, long time ago, very, very, very, very long ago, there was a lake in some place. And within that lake, and without that lake, there was a turtle(-person). You know a turtle(-person)? (Yes.) And two flamingo(-people). What happened? No sound? Louder, please. Make it louder. Technical worries. Technical problem. Alright now?
Long, long time ago, there was a lake. And in the lake, there was a turtle(-person), and outside the lake, there were two flamingo(-people). A turtle(-person) and two flamingo(-people). OK? In case you cannot hear, use your wisdom eye. They were friends. That year was a very... There was a drought. Yes, yes, yes. Drought. So, no water. During one year, no rain whatsoever. And the lake, the water inside the lake became less and less each day. It’s funny to read Aulacese (Vietnamese) and talk in English. Like magical power.
They became friends, and then they had no water now. The Sun seemed like it became hotter and hotter than usual. And all the grasses and the trees changed color, became a coffee color. Some kind of black magic. Then, because the water became so little, and the Sun was so hot, the water became very, very hot. So, the aquarium (aquatic life) living inside slowly went to Nirvana, one by one. One by one. This story is not really funny, but when I read it it’s funny. Otherwise, when you read the original, you’d fall asleep. It’s too serious. You understand? (Yes.) I don’t know if the one who told this story was enlightened or not. But he’s certainly not humorous, no humor.
So now, in this kind of situation, the turtle(-person) was very restless and he was always thinking many things in his head about what to do. He wanted very much to be liberated from this situation. He was thinking and thinking. And then, fortunately, the couple, the flamingo couple, came to visit him. Seeing him with such a miserable face – wearing such a miserable mask – they asked him very friendly and anxiously, considerately, lovingly, ‘What’s going on? What’s the matter with you? How come you look so constipated?” So, he looks so miserable. So, the turtle(-person) said to them: “Oh! Oh! You have no idea! I’m in a great predicament!” Is that right? My English is still OK? (Yes.) Sometimes it’s a funny mixture. “I think I’m going to die. I don’t think I’ll ever see you again.”
And then, the flamingo husband stopped him, interrupted him, and said, “We are good friends since a long time. We’ve shared all happiness and troubles together since a very long time. Please let us know what is the reason that makes you so unhappy and worried. We will surely try our best to help you, to rescue you out of your miserable condition.” I’m so tired of speaking Oxford English. “We have not even known what is the problem with you, and you were already so disappointed, and so hopeless. It should not be this way. Every problem has a solution.” OK. Sounds very wise indeed, yes, yes. Maybe he practiced the Quan Yin Method. Enlightened flamingo(-people). OK. Let’s see. So now…
I just discovered that any story can be good, can be funny. I was reading this in the sedan chair they were carrying me, and I’m by the way reading, choosing some quick solutions for my problem here. Because whenever I see you, I have problems; I have to give you something. And vegan cakes you ate all already, (vegan) candies all nearly finished, fruits are all gone and I have nothing left except a story. So, I was flicking through and trying to see any story at all and no story satisfied me. It seemed so childish, and nothing really good. But now I’m reading it, it sounds good. It’s funny, at least we can have fun. (Yes.) OK. Because I changed the tone of the story. I just tell you the essence but not the real sentences that they have written inside because it’s so boring. I nearly slept over the story. OK. So now, just to let you know that I’m good. Yeah. To earn your approval is not easy.
OK. Now, the turtle(-person) was sighing miserably and melancholily and answered them, “I don’t know what you can do for me, you two. But since many days I haven’t had anything to put into my solar plexus center. All I can do is meditate on the solar plexus center, there’s no enlightenment coming in. So, I think I’m going to die. No water, no fish, no shrimps, no frogs, nothing. I think I’m going to die. Or eventually the cowboys will discover me and bring me for their supper. Five years ago, I was caught by them once, but luckily there was an old lady who believed in Buddhism, so she brought me and returned me to the lake. If I’m caught again once more, I’m not sure if Amitabha Buddha can rescue me. But maybe Supreme Master Ching Hai can do it. But I have not tried Her. I don’t know. Anytime I think of my last escape, I grow ‘goose pimples’ all over my shell.”
Can you imagine a turtle(-person) who has goose pimples? Can you imagine? (No.) Have you ever seen such a turtle(-person)? Goose pimples. A turtle(-person) who grows goose pimples. The original version is not like that. I just happened to think about a turtle(-person) with goose pimples. Yeah, you know it? You know goose pimples? When you’re so scared, and then your skin… (Yes.) your skin has goose pimples. (Goose bumps.) Goose pimples, no? Goose pimples! Yeah. I spoke correct English, please.
So, now, what happened next, let’s see. Now the flamingo husband was in a very, very deep meditation over the problem. So, his eyebrows were knitted together like this. His legs were crossed like that and his wings were placed on top of his legs in a flamingo position. And his wisdom eye was a cloudy color from thinking. And the wife, the female flamingo had such deep compassion. She was so much in sympathy with the turtle.
Photo Caption: Here, Smile Like Me > You’ll B Happy!
