Master Tells Jokes and Buddhist Stories: The Five Precepts and Five Best Ways of Charity (Part 1 of 3) August 30, 2015

I like this talk very much, there is one here. This is from Golda Meir, Golda Meya. Meir or Meya, I don't know. Meir, I guess. The Prime Minister of Israel a long time ago, 1898 and 1978. The older, elderly Israeli woman, prime minister, she said like this: "Don't be so humble; you are not that great." I like it very much. Everybody tries to be humble; what for, anyway? Who are you, who are you to feel humble? Of course you are humble, you are nobody. Don't have to try. Like, it's similar to another joke. In a church, maybe Jewish church or Christian church, I don't care, I don't remember. There were two priests. One is like a Cardinal and one is almost like a Cardinal, something like that, a high rank in the church. And they were sitting there and talking together about how great Jesus was, and how much he sacrificed, how powerful he was, trying to save every disciple and anyone who called his name. So after saying that, they said, "We are truly nothing, we are really nothing, we are nobody. We are nothing." And the cleaner of the church, the janitor, mopping the floor nearby, he heard that both of them were saying, he heard that both of them were saying, they were nothing, they were nobody. So he also knelt down and said, "Lord, I'm nobody, I'm nothing. I'm nobody." Just a cleaner, understand? They are Cardinals, so they said they are nobody, so maybe they are humble. But you are just a cleaner, you also say, "I'm nobody, I'm nothing." And it's not the end yet. And the two Cardinals looked at the cleaner, looked down upon him and said, "Look at him, who is he to say he is nobody?" How humble! The two Cardinals are really humble. So much of inequality in front of the eyes of the Lord. I like this one also. "By all means, get married. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad wife, you'll become a philosopher." And that is a good thing for any man, anyway. This is from Socrates. 399 Before Christ (BC). If you have a bad wife, you just always have to comfort yourself with something. "Never mind, she just had a bad day. Women are weaker, a weaker part of humanity, so we have to let it be, and protect her." That is a kind of philosophical talk. This is also very funny. "In the beginning, God created Earth and rested," God created Earth and rested. "Then God created man and rested. And then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man have rested."